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What is self-control?

Over the years, self-control has been defined in several ways - as willpower, self-discipline, or conscientiousness. But in whatever way you define it, self-control is actually about being able to regulate yourself. Can a young individual resist distraction? Control impulses? Bounce back from tough emotions? Delay gratification and plan ahead? Clearly, a lot depends on and varies as per the child’s age. Children lack the self-control that is present in older kids. It develops over the years, with some of the crucial changes taking place between the developmental stage.

But there are a lot of individual variations as well. Some kids have more trouble regulating themselves, and they feel pain for it. Therefore, it’s no wonder that students are coming to school with anxiety and fears that are blocking their way from living up to their potential. As educators with school counselling techniques, it is vital to take some time to refocus our learners’ energy on the positive aspects of life.

One way to do this is to clarify that there are certain things in life that they will not be within their control and that it is okay to let those things go. Show them how to be kids again and leave the big problems for the adults.

Share these four tips with your students to cultivate self-control & reduce their anxiety and boost self-control.

Focus time and energy on things that you can actually change

Ask your learners to make a list of easy to achieve things that can be done to improve a situation that they are worried about. By progressing towards a manageable goal, you will comfort the tension that may be caused other worries. E.g. if they are worried about their grades because of a new sport activity, you can ask them to make it a goal to increase their study time by 20 minutes per night. This will give them a feeling of self-control.

Let go of things you cannot control

Ask your learners to make a note of things they are currently worrying about, according to them, which cannot be directly controlled. Make them promise to limit the time they think about those things. Often times, it is seen that some people and some things are not going to change easily, regardless of the efforts being put in. So, it is better to let go of those things.

The power of positive thinking

Let your learners go through an imagination break and think about the things that worry them. Tell them to play it like a movie in their mind. Teach them to think of the best possible scenario in those situations rather than focusing on the worst, which we often tend to do.

Help kids avoid temptation: out of sight, out of mind

Leave alone kids, even us, adults, have been known to lose our will-power at the sight of a cheese-cake. So, one of the most important tools for maintaining self-control is to change the environment. Keep temptations hidden. For young individuals, this might mean putting away a toy that is likely to cause conflict during a play-date; or avoiding the chocolate aisle of the grocery store when you are shopping together. Involve parents if possible and your learners will get used to avoid their temptations.

After going through the mentioned strategies, you might want to try this self-control circle activity to reinforce this information on your learners. With a certification in school counsellor courses, you will be able to show your learners the right way to control their temptations.